appeared in the Catholic Review, March 16, 2006

“Internet use can be a little like visiting the best theme park in the world and coming across a toxic waste dump.” This warning from the U.S. bishops in “Your Family and Cyberspace” is a warning for parents who are concerned that our young people are running amuck in a poisonous atmosphere of the Internet. Surprisingly, parents are better equipped for this task than we might initially believe.

The problems are very real.

Web sites such as MySpace, Xanga and Blogger – which are designed for online journals or diaries known as blogs – have become settings where adults can criminally stalk and entice young people into illicit activity.

“Dateline NBC” has now done three installments of their “To Catch a Predator” series of stings with men who have made dates for sexual encounters with adult decoys posing as teenagers online. In February, a University of Maryland student confessed to the beating and the murder of a young woman. News reports revolved around his use of vulgar and crude messages on MySpace and The Facebook to make contact with women.

It would be negligent for a mother or father to not properly equip our young people for the real world out there. As parents, we must now also prepare them for all the potential risks and snares found online. Our own technological illiteracy will not serve as a valid justification to disregard these important life skills for our children.

Young people must recognize that they have the support of their parents in pursuing a “virtuous reality” in the “virtual reality” of the Internet. How can this be achieved?

The Internet is a portal into our homes not unlike the front door or the telephone. On the Internet, young people find themselves in the World Wide Web. Rules that apply in the real world should apply in the world online. Parents and young people should have conversations regarding values, behaviors and Internet usage.

With our children, whether they have been explicitly stated or only implied, we do have rules and regulation regarding the front door. How is it to be answered? Who is allowed in the house? When should it be locked?

Parents also set rules regarding the telephone. What are the proper language and respectful tones for use on the phone? What is the proper amount of personal information to be given?

The same is true with our young people when they are out in the world away from us. Don’t take to strangers. If someone is hassling you, find an adult or authority figure.Young people also have a source of guidance for Internet usage from the timeless four cardinal virtues — prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance.

Prudence seeks what is good in every circumstance and chooses the right means of achieving it. Regarding the Internet, we want to be prudent regarding the sharing of information with others. We want to protect ourselves and our family by not placing ourselves at risk through misuse of credit or making ourselves vulnerable to computer viruses. Although our usage of the Internet can seem anonymous at times, we still must consider the consequences of public broadcast of our opinion or personal information

Justice requires that we respect the rights of each other and build human relationships that promote equality. On the Internet, therefore, we must always remain respectful to others and avoid sites where the respect and dignity of God’s creation is not valued. If we become aware of injustice, we must speak out and attempt to protect others. We should remain skeptical of those who seemingly want to enter into the unequal relationship of being an anonymous friend while calling for the sharing of information.

Fortitude means that we hold to our virtues even in times of challenge and that we remain constant in our pursuit of the good of all.

Parents can assist with this by placing their computers in a public setting, not unlike the oldtime corded phone in the kitchen.

This will ensure young people are surfing the net in public with the potential for parental supervision.

Parents and young people should regularly check in with one another regarding their concerns and experiences with the Internet.

Temperance is that which moderates the balance between personal willpower the attractive pleasures that compel our urges and desires. Young people should be encouraged to maintain a sense of modesty in use of language as well as in posting personal pictures on the Internet. Temperance is easier to achieve when we are inviting our children to maintain clearly defined limits and boundaries in their use of the Internet.

Connecting the cardinal virtues to Internet use does not have to be a hard sell. “(The moral virtues) are the fruit and seed of morally good acts; they dispose all the powers of the human being for communion with divine love” (“Catechism of the Catholic Church” 1804). Advances in technology should always to assist us with making
good choices, leading better lives, and allowing for more opportunity for us to share God’s Good News.