A theological moment on Lost last night…  While all the characters (and viewers) have struggled to understand the time continuum of this season, Daniel Faraday has always seemed to have had some insight. 

He came to greater clarity last night:

“We can change that.  I’ve spent studying relativistic physics all my life. One thing emerged over and over – can’t change the past – can’t do it. Whatever happened, happened.

But then, I finally realized,  I had been spending so much time focused on the constants, I forgot about the variable.  And do you know what the variables are in each of these equations, Jack? 

Us! We’re the variable.  People.  We think, we reason, we make choices, we have free will,  We can change our destiny.”

And with clarity and insight… surprising consequence!  Why I enjoy this show!

Is this something worth celebrating? 

A Pew Forum poll on Americans and their religious affiliation finds Catholics have one of the highest retention rates, 68 percent, among Christian churches when it comes to carrying the Catholic faith into adulthood.

We are losing one out of three… even if it is “one of the highest retention rates,” is this satisfactory?

The study, Faith in Flux: Changes in the Religious Affiliation in the U.S., was made public by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, April 27. The study also found that the key reason people leave their church, Protestant or Catholic, is that “they just gradually drifted away from the faith.” 

“The report highlights the importance of Mass attendance among children and teenagers,” said Archbishop Donald W. Wuerl of Washington, past chairman of the bishops’ Committee on Catechesis and next chairman of the Committee on Doctrine. “Adolescence is a critical time in religious development and, as the poll shows, what happens in the teen years has a long-lasting affect. We have to help young people and their parents appreciate the importance of going to weekly Mass so teenagers know Jesus is there for them now and always.“

Read the study here and learn more here.

In The Speed of Trust, Stephen M.R. Covey suggests thirteen behaviors designed to improve trust. This is the fourth and clearly is related to one’s integrity.

When I was running conferences, I would often claim that a large part of my role during the actual event was just to apologize. If you are “the person” for the event, folks will (and should) come up to you and let you know either how you have fallen short of their expectations and/or even offended them.  It becomes  very important to both hear and acknowledge their concerns while without spending all your time reactively fire-fighting the nuances (by tasks or your own emotions) during the event itself.

While immediate responses are often sought, there must be a balance.  I will often carry a small notepad for these moments at the event.  And there is a great value to a good evaluation process after the event – -  one that will evenly assesses the positive as well as seek to respond to the growing edges.

But, never under-estimate the value of a well-place apology.  At the 2002 NCCYM in Denver, a keynote speaker made a off-the-cuff sarcastic comment about one church leader in the midst of the church’s sex abuse scandal. Those from that church leader’s region took offense on his behalf and let both the speaker and the conference leaders immediately know of their displeasure.  The speaker wrote a eloquent response and apology and it was my honor to deliver it on his behalf the next morning. (This picture of me is actually from that moment.)

It was very well received.  My sense was that “the church,” at that moment, needed someone, anyone to take a little responsibility and accountability for when hurt or harm occurs and were actually relieved to be able to witness an example of that.

In youth ministry, we often risk the “too much” of the third behavior suggested by Stephen M.R. Covey in The Speed of Trust.  Often, in the name of transparency, I fear that we inflict our own “stuff” upon others.

This can come into play when one attempts to make their own spiritual profile the norm for a group of others.  I know of tales where a core team and a youth minister came to disagreement when she scheduled eucharistic adoration on a retreat. In the converse, I’m aware of another youth minister who will not send his young people to a diocesan event because eucharistic adoration is included.  In both cases, the youth minister can claim that they are being transparent regarding their own faith experience . . .  but are they attempting to make their experience everyone’s experience?  If so, it seems, might they be accused of not being concerned about passing along the limited faith of our fathers as much as constraining young people’s faith into an image and likeness of their own?

Another example (and, yes, I am really trying to be careful here) was when a tragedy had occurred around the periphery of an event. Yes, many participants were aware of it, but only a microscopic portion of the group had actually been impacted.  Yet, the leadership of the event was connected to the tragedy as well as they had attempted to minister to those who had been impacted. Unfortunately, their own experience of grief poured out into what was perceived as a disproportionate response (that reflected too much of their own experience of the loss as well as their own spiritual profile.)

Is seems impossible to fault them on their “transparency” but many were left wondering if that response reflected the needs of the community or the desire to memorialize their own experience by those who would claim to be servant leaders.  There is a “hidden agenda” in your ministry when you make choices that are more about you than Christ or the community of the Church.

BALTIMORE, MD — As he looked out over the crowd for the 55th annual Archdiocese of Baltimore Division of Youth and Young Adult Ministry Recognition Celebration, retired auxiliary Bishop William C. Newman thought about baseball. The gathering honored those who nurture the growth of the church’s promising prospects, much like the sport does with its development system.  “I was thinking that you’re sort of like minor league managers,” Bishop Newman during a homily at the Church of the Nativity in Timonium. “We have a farm system in our church. The youth are on the farm. You are working with them, refining their gifts, challenging them, supporting them and loving them.”  He paused, before jokingly adding: “We have a better farm system than the Orioles.” The night of worship and honors brought together youth ministers, parishioners and religious from throughout the Archdiocese of Baltimore. Read more here.

JUBA, SUDAN — The Catholic youth of Juba Archdiocese in South Sudan are having their week-long annual conference whose theme this year is nation-building through the Gospel. Over 250 youth from the 11 parishes in the Archdiocese gathered at the All Saints Rejaf Parish. The opening mass was presided over by the Juba vicar general, Fr. Lawrence Lodu Kose who acknowledged in his homily that the youth have energies and hopes, but also many concerns about their future and that of their country. He underlined that most youths lived within a culture of violence and should fill their minds with thoughts of peace. Read more here.

FRAZEE, MN — Over 300 were anticipated last Saturday for the Crookston Diocese annual spring rally. It was expected that youth from approximately 25 of the 47 diocesan churches attended the event. The theme was “Witness the Power.” DJ Bill Lage served as keynote speaker. Read more here.

The second behavior suggested by Stephen M.R. Covey in The Speed of Trust is one that can be accomplished in some small and simple ways.

Before we get into a story, Covey talks about attempting to achieve the “sweet spot” in these behaviors, recognizing that doing them “too little” or “too much” can be perceived as a weakness. (Any strength used to the extreme can become a weakness.)  What is being sought after here is the “just right.”

Many years back, Bishop Maurice Dingman wanted to offer a gift to his Des Moines chancery staff on Secretaries’ Day.  He had just come from a youth event where I assisted by providing youth clowns.  Clown ministry had it’s hey-day in youth ministry and still plays in some pockets!.  His gift was to become a clown and not speak throughout the morning, “offering the ladies some peace and quiet on their special day.

Dingman was a holy man, so when my partner in ministry was to assist with make-up, applying white face to the bishop (symbolizing his death to his own persona), she could not bring herself to touch his face.  It was respect, but too much respect!  I completed his make-up and we gifted him with a multi-colored wig, some new clothing, and (on a last minute impulse) a plastic cane that had a squeaker on the bottom of it.

When the chancery staff has assembled for their breakfast, they quickly detected the identity of their new guest who was introduced by his clown name “Shep,” (short for Shepherd).   They gently teased about their absent bishop, but Shep was constrained by his commitment to to remain verbally silent and not respond. . . until he determined that the cane squeaker was his weapon of last resort.

The joy, fun, and intimacy of that work place/ ministry setting was evident as they all seemed to have got demonstrating respect “just right”  Everyone’s role was respected. Kindness and care were shown to one another.

Pat Villa is the coordinator of youth ministry at St. James in Solana Beach, CA who regularly blogs out his thoughts musings reflections …

He has been participating in the facebook discussion board for Mark Ostricher’s Youth Ministry 3.0  which suggests directing young [eople toeards that which is communional and missional. Pat suggests that all the vehicals (retreats, conference, mission trips, sacraments) all in place but wonders if we are willing to trust the next steps – - – which are not our own.

“But, after the encounter, are we good enough at boldly and lovingly offering the choice of conversion? Not a coercive conversion (i.e., you will go to hell if you sin). But an authentic, from-the-inside-out new-born desire to recognize hope in love, hope in faith, hope in redemption, hope in fulfilling the deepest desires of our heart. Because, to me, communional and missional is not possible without conversion. Without offering the choice of conversion, do our ministries fall short of what Christ and the Church is calling us to?”  Read his whole post here.

It’s a good question as we are within the fullness of the Confirmation season.  How much room do we really leave for the Spirit?

One of my biggest regrets in ministry is when I did not live up to this behavior as suggested in Stephen M.R. Covey’s The Speed of Trust.  It was on a multi-parish multi-bus ski trip.

After the bus trip to the slopes, we got the kids all equipped and let them loose on the hills. Within the first hour,the ski patrol paged me as the lead contact from our group.   Fearing injury,I quickly made my way to the lodge.  There, I found one of “our” kids (from another parish) blazingly drunk at 10:30am of what portended to be a loooooog day.

He was released to my care and soon fell asleep beside me in the corner of the lodge where he “slept it off” throughout the day. On the return trip, he was assigned to my bus where he “entertained” his peers as he belligerently gave me grief. Upon our return, I was so pleased to be done with him, that I did not go into pursuit as he scurried off into a darkened parking lot to find his parent.

I failed to talk straight.  I failed to live up to our no drugs and alcohol rule….   I should have called the cops first thing, and then his parents. I didn’t live up to any of the verbal commitments that I had made to the kids, my pastor, the other adults, or that kid’s parents. I failed to let others know where I stood. I failed to show integrity.

Just a few years later, I was working at a youth shelter.  This was a setting where we would often serve as a half-way station between a kid’s treatment and their home.  One evening,as I often did, I was doing an intake on just such a kid….  You guessed it…  and he recognized me long before I recognized him.   As part of his steps he readily apologized for the incident, but I had to do the same as well.

Our office staff has read Stephen M.R. Covey’s The Speed of Trust. (The author has the Covey name but is actually the son.)

Covey’s premise is that lack of trust within our relationships slows us down considerably whereas trust makes everything happen. It starts with our own credibility and whether or not we have (or are perceived as having) integrity, shared intent, the capability to “get ‘er done” towards results or an outcome.

We have been using the book as an in-house in-service and it occurred to me that it might make for some good blogging.  So watch for it over the next two weeks.

Grabbed this off of Marko’s site.  It’s kinda of reassuring that kids seems to be the same the world over – even “down under.”

But, parents also seem to ask the same lame-o questions that also elicit one syllable guttural responses the world over as well.