Over at Slant 33, Seattle-r Michelle Lang, Kiwi Tash McGill, and lil’ old Baltimoron me all take on the challenge of How do you get out of your own traditions, theology, and mindsets and remain open?

In my family, I have become the keeper of tradition. Even with adult children now, our home is blessed since I am still able to share a portion of Christmas day with my kids. We have the same special ingredient in the turkey stuffing. Our tree bears the ornaments that come with childhood stories. Each holiday season, we make a point of dining out and seeing a theater production together.

Two years ago, my Army son was serving in Iraq. We SKYPEd a great conversation with him as we all lounged around in our pajama pants and sweatshirts. The next year, his sisters claimed that pajama pants had become the new traditional wardrobe for gift opening and our meal together—a concept he rejected. I remained neutral as the family gently teased their way through this holiday debate. The girls tipped off his girlfriend, and she showed up at our door in pajama pants as well.

We started with the opening of presents. My defiantly jean-clad son received the very first gift, and it was clearly marked from me. He opened it and rolled his eyes; he now had his own pair of pajama pants. He excused himself and went to change.

Pajama pants on Christmas is not my tradition. Yet my family is now clearly coming into the age of making their own traditions. The challenge for those of us who are keepers of tradition is to remain open to the full community’s experience, to allow all members of the family of God to find themselves represented.

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Another contribution up ion the Slant 33 site, along with Tony Myles and Lara Larsen answering the question: How do you navigate one-on-one relationship contexts (in order to protect yourself and others)?  Here’s my take:

At the very core of ministry with young people is the presence of caring, supportive relationships where youth experience the good news in loving relationships with the community.

The late Leo Buscaglia, a motivational speaker, once described a loving relationship as “one in which the loved one is free to be himself—to laugh with me but never at me; to cry with me but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.”

The challenge for us in youth ministry is to be able to follow the example of our God, with whom we find ourselves in relationship. We must always place great worth on freedom in our one-on-one relationships.

And that ain’t easy.

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Slant 33 recently asked: We’ve learned that teenagers live in a world isolated from adults, and, unfortunately, most of our ministries perpetuate this. How are you addressing this problem?  Conveniently, the response to the question is easily attached to the video above.

There was an old comic strip character named Pogo Possum that lived in a swamp. Every now and then, the artist Walt Kelly would take his characters and enter into a little political commentary. A famous line, used to describe the challenges of pollution and the environment now also seem appropriate when addressing the issue of ministries perpetuating a world where young people live isolated from adults.

“We have met the enemy and he is us.”

If we envision our ministry exclusively towards young people and therefore focus an overwhelming amount of time only with them, then we are part of the problem.

If we find ourselves with many young friends but rarely socialize with adults our own age or older, then we are part of the problem.

Perhaps we find our own professional value, or even our own self worth, tied into how many “friends” or “likes” we have on facebook. If so, then we are part of the problem.

When we become aware that we are the most referenced adult in the testimony of young people’s faith lives, then we are part of the problem. Likewise, if most of our young people would also nominate us for such high school-ish honors as “Coolest,” “Funniest,” or “Most Spiritual…;” well, then we are definitely part of the problem.

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I’m back up on Slant33 again, this time responding along with Michelle Lang and buddy Mark Oestricher to the question What’s the difference between teaching middle schoolers and high schoolers about dating and sexuality? My response is below, but do check the link for Marko’s and Michelle’s comments as well.

This is an essential question. I have come to a clear understanding that for many young people, this area is one of the larger challenges in authentically living out their discipleship. Yet, in asking the question, we have overlooked an audience of potential collaborators in this task—their parents. If all the recent research about how young people reflect the values of their parents, then we certainly must find ways to encourage parents to be involved in sharing our good news about love, dating, and sexuality.

One of my favorite activities to engage adults in, to inform their sharing messages of dating and sexuality, is to get them to think back to their own early dating years. They are asked to think of an early, positive experience of touch in a dating experience—holding hands, a kiss, a slow dance, etc. We carefully dissect the experiences into their own mental photographic images of those moments, then how they would describe the facts of those moments, followed by their own emotions at the time.

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I have another article on Slant 33 responding, along with Brooklyn Lindsey and Michael Novelli, to the question In a strong denominational setting, how do you support your denomination?  Hit the link to check Brooklyn and Michael’s take on the question. Here’s mine:

A Baptist preacher, a Catholic priest, and a Jewish rabbi walk into a bar… I have no idea where the punch line will go, but I will default in hoping that the Catholic priest does not fare too badly in the end.

I have friends who pick Catholic teams in the NCAA basketball brackets, even if Notre Dame is facing Duke, Boston College is up against Kentucky, or Xavier against Ohio State. (That’s all right; I have other friends who will pick Michigan over Gonzaga because a Wolverine should beat a Bulldog, or they prefer the team colors… Yes, I have weird friends.)

But man, as Catholics, we seem to sweat Catholic identity about everything…

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Over at Slant 33, Tash McGill, Adam McLane, and your blogger were asked Where Do You Draw the Line on Social Media Interactions with Srudents?

Tash makes a pitch for social media as an entry point towards deeper relationship while Adam in concerned about violating privacy with waiting for invitation… and I’m somewhere in the third way of an either/or…  calling for seeking the high value in the non-virtual relationship… Here my section below, but read the asked other opinions, too.

UPDATE:  On Wednesday morning, I was interviewed on the Son Rise Morning Show with Brian Patrick on EWTN Radio

SonRiseMorning111611 by CatholicYMblog

Here’s the posting: When I read the slate of topics for which I was contributing posts, this is the topic I looked most forward to writing. I have something to say. But this was also the one I was most hesitant about having published. I’m not sure most youth workers will, to use a Facebook term, “like” it. Here’s why: As a personal policy, I do not friend young people under the age of eighteen, and I think that is a policy other youth leaders should take.

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There’s a place for us, somewhere a place for us. Peace and quiet and open air wait for us somewhere.

Over half a century ago in West Side Story, Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim offered a ballad for star-crossed lovers seeking their place in a complicated world. This song, now sung in local high school productions, still reflects the mood of a younger generation. Yet, it no longer seems as harmonic and lovely as it once did.

This February, the cover of Time Magazine profiled “The Generation Changing the World.” Reporting on what we have come to know as the Arab Spring, they profiled the young men and women who were leading Days of Rage. Many of them were novices at political activism and used social-networking and texting to organize and communicate about their protests.

In August, days of rioting broke out in London following the shooting of a black twenty-nine-year-old and the initial protest that followed. Some blamed the riots on a “sense of entitlement” which has been seen among Britain’s youth.

Meanwhile, back here in the United States, our own young adults find much about which they can be frustrated.

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Yesterday, I called attention to slant33.com, acknowledging that I had a vested interest in the web-site.  Yesterday, they also published my first posting on the site.   (I knew it was coming, just not when…)

Along with Adam Mclane and Tiffanie Shanks, I was asked to respond to the question How do you determine the line between vulnerability and over sharing?  Below is my take, please check the site for Adam’s and Tiffanie’s responses

Saint Francis of Assisi is often credited with the saying, Preach the gospel at all times; if necessary, use words. As Christians, we probably cannot really be too vulnerable or even over share—except when we begin to unnecessarily speak aloud.

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In the latest edition of the Catechetical Leader from the National Council of Catechetical Leadership is an article I wrote at the request of Sr. Caroline Cerveny:

In ministry, we often attempt to emulate the model of ministry that we find in within the relationships of Jesus. He gathered his disciples, offered healing to the hurting, told stories of the Reign of God, and broke bread with his friends, sinners, and taxpayers alike. He ministered face-to-face.

It seems all to be a ministry of touch, a presence of face-to-face, a sense of making contact in a spiritual sort of way. And that is wonderful… and true… Yet, when I recently watched a catechetical leader hand-to-hand distribute a poorly designed flyer regarding an upcoming workshop to six people after an event. I was stunned how limited (hand-to-hand) the catechetical leader’s distribution method was. Communication is happening within this article, yet I have met very few of the readers and certainly did not hand-deliver this article.

Jesus used the technology of his day to address as many as possible. He traveled to distribute the Good News. Gathering crowds in natural amphitheaters, He spoke from fishing boats along lakefronts and upon hillsides. He offered a  message in both word and example that was simply repeatable and repeated simply.

There are many, many ways to communicate with young people.

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Yesterday, we packed up for our biennial weekend youth conference this weekend in Ocean City. Our theme is Heroes.  I have drafted a opinion piece for our diocesan newspaper, the Catholic Review, which I hope will run in next week’s edition along with conference coverage. 

The Christmas season is right around the corner and thoughts are turning towards gifts. One of the alleged insults of the season is to re-gift something that you don’t desire – for instance, the bad joke gift that gets passed annually from family member to family member, or the fruitcake that came from your employer.

Hundreds of young people from the Archdiocese of Baltimore gathered last weekend in Ocean City to think about re-gifting. The theme they considered was “Heroes,” and they spent some time considering the lives of the saints. They imagined how they might be heroes for the faith as well.

They looked at Juan Diego’s devotion to the Eucharist and willingness to carry the Blessed Mother’s message to the people of the Americas. Our young people thought about Elizabeth Ann Seton’s dedication to passing on the gift of education. They considered the radical simplicity of the lifestyle of Francis of Assisi.

Those saints and their stories are important and need to be shared. Research into the faith lives of young people, however, indicates that there is still another very important story to be shared with them that will have considerable influence. It is a story that comes from those who might feel as if they have begun to lose their own heroic sheen in the lives of young people.

It is the story of faith that comes from their parents.

The National Study on Youth and Religion indicates that young people faithfully mirror the religious life of their parents

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